Parents often find them selves having ‘slip of the tongue’ moments around kids. You know like when you bang your toe on furniture and yell out “shit” or you’re on the phone to a friend slipping out some f bombs not even paying attention the fact that your kids are in ear shot and could possibly start repeating it.
I’m grateful I had the conversation with my kids about swear words only being allowed for adults. So I never had this trouble with my own 2 kids ever repeating any naughty words while they were young, but my older step kids on the other hand sure surprised me at my own expense.
I use to take all the kids every where I went. Corner stores, shopping, parks etc… We loved our little outtings when they were all little. I had a slight case of road rage how ever. My biggest pet hate was dickheads that come out infront of me, cut me off or made fun of the fact I had a little tiny 4 cylinder lancer while they had done up v8’s so some idiot’s got off on revving their cars up beside me and taking off as if to say race them!
Obviously swear words were continuously flying out of my mouth when ever I was driving the car. Seeing as I always took the kids with me, my sailor mouth wasn’t one to think before speaking.
So, one day when I went to the corner store with just my step kids, I go to turn into a parking space when a massive truck decides to reverse out of the shops driveway. Clearly this idiot truck driver can’t see me with my blinker on tryin to turn left into the parking bay because he is coming at me pretty fast. I’m wondering what to do because I can’t turn left into the parking bay with this flaming idiot in my way, I can’t turn right and try to go around him because his ass end is a semi meaning it’s way too long in order for me to see what’s coming on the other side of the road to attempt such a manvouver and I can’t reverse either because I have a line of cars up my ass that I seem to be holding up due to the dickweed semi truck driver. UGH! So I start beeping the horn like crazy to let him know i’m there. He’s like 2 seconds off wiping my bumper and possibly driving over my entire car with us all in it. Not to mention probably the next 5 cars behind him with the size of his ass.
The truck driver actually hears my horn alerts and realises he’s about to run over me and anyone behind me. Thank goodness. I actually kept my calm the entire time. I decided I was only going to panick and start yelling abuse if the truck driver continued to keep backing out on to me.
The truckie takes his truck forward into the driveway again and I happily park into my inital spot. We get out of the car, get the items needed and get back into the car.
It was at this point as I’m about to turn the ignition that I hear the truck in the driveway start his truck up again. I realise I have probably got like 15 seconds to reverse and take off before this dick wad comes reversing at me again.
Slight delay with one of the kids seatbelts so I take 10 seconds to fix that issue and by the time I actually reverse out it’s too late because old mate dip shit had already started to reverse. UGH! Did this idiot not realise then when he backed out on a curb with his trailer that it landed straight in to the direct car park to actually hit the cars in the parking bay? I couldn’t believe it. I decided to leave the car where it was and prey to the good lord that the truck would get lucky and miss my car by like 2 inches. I made the kids get out of the car and stand at the front of the shop with me so the truck couldn’t actually hit us. All bets were on my un insured car getting totalled though. Thank god I had another car that was actually insured at home so it wasn’t too big of a deal. Just the thought of walking home didn’t impress me much.
This truck is incredibly close to the back end of my car and obviously I’m cringing at the thought that I’m going to have to watch this all happen with my own eyes. It was in that moment, my 4 year old step daughter takes off out on the middle of the road screaming her lungs out at the truck driver “Hey you effin asshole, MOVE IT”
My heart is pounding that entire time you know? Thinking she is gonna get hit by the truck or another car. My colan is totally clenching and wanting to talk to me about the pros and cons of going into the traffic with her. My head is spinning from how fast it all happened and what I should do to save her. My step son is in a panick too worried his sister is going to die. I could feel his hand slipping out of my hand from both our sweaty palms.
Reliefe – the truck drivers and all the traffic lined up from the truck actually sees my step daughter and stop in their tracks. I’m too stunned to say a bloody word as she walks back to me and proudly says “Fixed that problem”
I knew the truckie and traffic had seen my step daughter but highly doubted that any one heard what she yelled out which was a bit of a reliefe. The truckie instructs all traffic to leave and go around it. He moved back into the drive way slightly just enough to allow my car to get out with no issues.
We get back in the car to on our merry way. As we pass the front end of the truckie heading beside it, my step daughter flips him the bird and sticks her head out the window screaming “That’s right, keep moving asshole” Oh how embarrassing it was to say the least. Gave me a good reality check on how I shouldn’t have kids in the car with me if I can’t control my mouth with all the dip shit drivers on the road. So on that note, I gave up having my licence and resorted to getting chauffeured around by the kids dad and my mum. It hasn’t been easy relying on other people but I hate driving, I hate other driver’s and have the worst sailor mouth behind the wheel!