Birthday Party Fail

All kids love socialising, going to birthday parties and being around other kids right? Well not my son when he was little. He was one of those shy, clingy toddlers who hid between mummies legs if some one even said hello to him.
It was a real issue.

My daughter was always getting invited to birthday parties. This meant I had to go to them as well and stick around, so I would have to take my son too. He was pretty good though. He would just jump on my lap and stay with me the whole time watching all the kids play. If any one tried speaking to him, he would put his face into my chest all shy.
I never actually got to encounter a stand up birthday party as most kids parents set the venues at their homes.

Well that was untill one day in 2010 when my daughter got invited to a party at crazy maze. Crazy maze was a big in doors play centre for kids.

I was in a hurry the day of the party and without even thinking, I forgot to wear a belt.

My 2 year old son had a thing for tugging on my pants at public venues where people could talk to him so I made sure to let my toddler know mummy forgot to wear a belt and begged him not to tug on my pants. He promised he wouldn’t.
I had to stay vigelant knowing my kids had a tendancy to hear everything you say and agree to it but seemed to forget just 2 seconds later.

The party actually went quite well. I found some where to sit with my 2 year old sitting on top of me and got to relax for the first hour.

My daughter calls out to me “Mummy, mummy take a photo of me hanging upside down like a monkey” How could I resist?
I put my 2 year old down to walk beside me holding my hand and he seemed to have adjusted to the environment and wasn’t as clingy. Great! I got the snaps my daughter wanted me to take and my son had now settled and wanted to play with the other kids. I was amazed.

One of the mums came over to talk to me while I was standing their watching the kids all play in a ball pit. I was preying my son wouldn’t notice.

5 mins into the conversation things were still going really well untill the mum asked which 2 kids were mine. I pointed them out and the mum decided it would be a great idea to talk to my son. “Hi there Seth, you’re cute” She said.
At this point i’m wondering where the closest brick wall is to go smack my head on.
My son looks straight up at me with fear in his eyes. I know it’s coming. I look around for the closest table to sit at but not sure on how to ivade the conversation with this mum. I mean if I said I had to go in a hurry she would have thought I was rude. The closest table is a good metre away so now i’m feeling the fear too. The fear of what’s about to come as my son bolts out of the ball pit like a dog getting chased by a pit bull.
I opt for picking him up! – Problem solved. I bend down to scoop him up when he arrives at my feet.

I now have another 4 mums approaching me for conversation. My son sees them all coming and puts his head into my chest like a scared little guinea pig that a human might interact with. Of course all of these woman want to fuss over my 2 year old because he’s just so dam cute being so shy. “Aw isn’t he adorable?” “Hey little guy” “He’s so shy” some of them said. MY son is now squirming out of my arms trying to get down. I know full well he wanted to get down so he could get between my legs and pull my shirt down at the back as far as it could go to hide his face.
I’m holding on to my toddler with all my might trying to avoid putting him on the ground. It’s of no use, the mums are starring at me giving me wierd looks at this point. I know they’re wondering why I don’t just let him down. They’re probably even thinking he wanted to go play with all the other kids.

How could I explain to these mums that my son was a little turd that feared people talking to him? They’d think I was ridiculous. So I put my son down and bend over to tell him to go play with his sister. He actually listened to me and started walking towards her. I felt so so relieved and got back to my conversation with the other mums.

I’m intrigued particularly with one mum who’s bragging about her new car. She takes us to the front window of the play centre to point out her brand new bmw. Wow! It was a really nice ride.

Next minute i’m getting choked at the neck by my own shirt. It’s like full on taking the breath out of me and the more I try to pull my shirt foward to stop from being choked, the more my shirt pulls backwards. I actually start coughing and gagging because it’s choking me pretty bad. I realise my son is behind me pulling down the back of my shirt so he can hide.

The mums are all trying to help me at this point. I felt really humililated. One of the mums told my son to let go of my top because it was choking me. He let go and then turned to grab on to both my legs while he stood between them.
I lost my balance a little and fell forward slightly but regained my balance quickly.

I’m now starting to feel like a laughing stock because my 2 year old choked me and almost had me fall over in the space of 30 seconds. My mind starts to reel with all the excuses I could possibly think of to try and get out of there with both my kids and never look back. But of course, you have to be a grown up and do adult things like try to wait out the storm, don’t be rude, use manners, and not give them all reasons to gossip behind my back. These mums are all the parents of my daughters 5 best friends. I had to play it cool.

So I try to pick my son up, nope, he throw him self on the floor. “Please bubba come up to mummy and i’ll go buy you a nice drink” I try to bribe him. He agrees to it probably knowing it’s an escape from all the mums trying to talk to us. Quite frankly I was more than pleased to get away from the mums too if it meant avoiding my son’s anti social behaviour.
I scoop my son up. “Just going to get my son a drink, can I get anything for anyone while i’m there?” I ask politely.
Most said they were fine but one of them said she would come with me. ARGH!!!! I can feel my son getting angry but he lets me carry him to the counter to buy his drink and talk to the mum without a hassle.
At the counter, I devize a plan to go back to our table so my kid can have his drink in peace but as we turn to walk away while the other mum is ordering food she says “Wait up, i’ll come back over with you” GOD DAMMIT! So I put on a fake smile and wait for her knowing my son was going to try breaking free again at any given moment.
I could see all mums standing up near the front window where we left them. I had to sit down some how with my son or my whole outting was going to make news headlines.

We walk back over to the mums and of course my son squirms his way down. Maybe he won’t tug on my pants I try to convince myself. I give him his drink and he happily sips away on while standing between my legs. Phew! Good save.

Anyways, gas bagging away with the mums I could hear my son grunting like a dam cave man. I wonder what he’s trying to tell me? I wonder while trying to pay attention to the mums talking away to me. “mummy” my son says now tugging at my pants. Uh oh! Thankfully it wasn’t a hard enough tug to cause any havoc. “yea mate, what’s up?” I ask him. He doesn’t reply so I look down at him. He’s red in the face and looks rather angry. I try asking him questions like whats wrong? Do you need something? Are you hungry? Do you want to go play? Etc. He shakes his head no to all my questions.
Perhaps he’s just being silly I try to reason with myself and go back to conversations.
tug tug* “Mummy” My kid pulls on my pants again. I look down “Stop it mate unelss you’re going to tell me what you want” I tell him. He grunts at me red in the face, cave man style again. “Fine then if that’s your attitude” I scoffed now frustrated he refused to tell me why he was wanting my attention.
I enravel back one last time into conversation with the mums. *”MUMMY” my son yells with one large tug to my pants that reef them to my ankles. Standing there in front of all these mums and kids bare ass with a blue g-string on like a dam porn star infront of innocent little children. I quickly pulls my pants up red faced, pick my son up, leave the mums without a word as they’re laughing and walk over to tell my daughter we are leaving. My daughter didn’t even refuse to leave or buck up sad about it. In fact, she yelled at her little brother “you ruin all my fun” With her arms crossed all cranky with him.

We leave without saying good bye and I don’t have eye contact with the mums on my way out. I put the kids in the car, put their seat belts on and leave. We get half way down the road, i’m all flustered and embaressed as hell. My daughter tells me her brother stinks to which I agree with for his behaviour. I ask my son what his problem was and why he had to pull my pants down infront of every one. TO which he says “I did poo” Well now I knew my daughter really was serious when she said her brother stinks!

I was more than happy when Crazy Maze closed down permantently not long after that incident. I never wanted to go back their again and can’t believe all my daughter’s friends and parents had to ensure my bare ass. I never did talk to any of those mums again and my daughter never got any more invites to birthday parties after that incident either but it was a life lesson that’s for sure.

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