2019 kick start

So 2019 has started off with many exciting happenings right? The news is going for gold this month…

A 37 year old California man went on a 3 hour licking spree. Yup, he legit licked a door bell for 3 hours!
I don’t know if this guy was drunk, high or just simply fucked up but I can only imagine he’s had plenty of girls lining up at his door bell for his services to be used on them.
The only thing i’m confused on is why he didn’t watch the movie “Get to the greek?” If he’d of watched it first, he would have known that you’re suppose to stroke the fury wall, not lick the bloody door bell *face palm*

Also, In recent news – Chris Brown got arrested on rape accusations in France. He is already banned from several countries for using domestic violence on his ex partner (Openly admitting to) is this dude looking to get banned from every country? I don’t know if the rumour is true or not (I don’t suppose any of us ever will) But I do suspect this moron likes to make enemies every where he goes. Domestic violence, rape.. what’s next? Murder! Maybe he shot the sheriff but he did not shoot the deputy and all he can think about is Warren!

Over here in Australia – Perth to be exact.. A 12 year gave birth to a new born baby. 12 YEAR OLD!!! We really shouldn’t be surprised anymore given that this generation are all humping away like the 1960’s, drugging up and brings std’s back like a fashion statement. But I can’t help being shocked. That poor 12 year old would have been traumatized for life if she gave birth naturally. I couldn’t even stomp my toe at 12 years old without running up under my mummy’s dress in tears for a hug and a bandaid! I was 5 years older than that girl the first time I ever had sex and it hurt like a bitch to the point that I was 18 before I even did it again. The poor little child has just suffered enough pain in the course of a 9 months that I’ve-endured in my 30 plus years of LIFE!

In Bundaberg news, 2 of the local beaches got shut down and evacuated due to a shark sighting… A shark sighting? In the ocean? Fancy that right? I had no clue that sharks lived in the ocean. Did you? HAHA!!
Yes the water needed to be evacuated for safety precautions but I don’t think they needed to clean the entire beaches out -_- I’m pretty sure sharks don’t come on land but hey that’s just my thoughts. I’m just shocked that 2 beaches were completely evacuated and shut down over seeing a fish in it’s own territory. Everyone knows the risk of going into the ocean. Not just sharks – there is all sorts of creatures in the ocean both beautiful and dangerous. Any one with a brain knows not to ever go out too far because the further away from shore = greater risk of entering sea territory.
I just think it’s a bit drastic with the panic. Yes, get everyone out of the water, no doubts about that. But no need to quarantine the beach over it.
It be weird if a bunch of sharks came to our houses and panicked because they sighted a human being in the house and then proceeded to quarantine that house knowing full well that human’s live there *face palm*
You don’t go climbing into a cage with a lion do you? You sure as shit don’t go walking with crowds or tigers in their homes do you? So why the hell do idiots think it’s safe to go into the ocean with a shark? Stay away from them. Stay in the shallow end, don’t stray from the shallow, if you spot shark in the shallow – just get out of the water until it goes back out into the deep, don’t swim at dusk or dawn cause that’s when they mostly feed and most importantly – If you want to swim with a shark, there are actual businesses that provide cages for you to do so … SAFETY! Common sense people, common sense!

There is heaps more news but I think the worst one to date is that school resumes back on the 20th of January 🙁
All parents of Australia having to get up at the dreadful hour of 6am every weekday, do the mad school hour rush with getting ready, breakfast and making sure we don’t forget to take our slippers off before getting in the car.
Then we have a whole 5 and a half hours to clean our houses, get shopping done, run errands and try to sneak in a little nap because 6 am just doesn’t sit well with us. Then we gotta do the insane school traffic rush between 2:30pm and 3:30pm – Try not to yell at any other parents or their asshole kids for anything and get home in one piece only to start cursing at our kids to clean their rooms, do their home work and then continue to yell at them every 5 mins to shut the fuck up so we can hear our tv at night because night time is apparently the best time to start sibling rivalry when parents just want to unwind from their hectic days! Did you know it’s a real thing for siblings to fight over a phone charger when they have their own?*face palm* I’m glad this only happens once a blue moon for me. My kids are pretty darn good but when they were younger it was super hectic. I just love the holiday sleep ins because we all sleep in till 8 or 9am and it feels soooooo good!

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