Covid19 May 2nd 2020

So who’s enjoying the easing of quarantine in Australia so far? I was never really effected by it to begin with so there’s never been any changes for me. I stopped going to pubs and clubs when I was 30. I also stopped having local mates because I was sick of all the dramas that females caused. A bunch of mums are way worse than dealing with high school girls, that’s for sure. So the basics remained for me with corner stores and grocery stores remaining open.
Thankfully no one in my house caught Covid19… How ever, i’m 110% certain that my kids all caught a case of Covidiot. I’m sure all parents out there will be able to relate to this because although we, our selves might not of been effected hard core by quarantine, our kids were Their social life and friends is all that matters in life above everything right? So obviously all the kids in 2020 quarantine got extremely bored and may or may not of done some extreme shit to cure their boredom.

Started with my 18 year old step son. This kid is a really good kid in general. He keeps to himself, stays out of trouble, and a really nice guy in general. He has some dickhead mates that think they’re cool though, which is a problem.
On the 17th of April 2020 he caught a severe case of Covidiot19. He went out to visit his “nanna” I quote that because that’s where he said he was going. What he actually came home with was a severe charge sheet:

*Dangerous operation of a vehicle
*Drink driving
*Driving unlicensed (he’s only on his learners with 0 points and didn’t have an open or p plate driver for that matter)
*Unregistered
*Uninsured
*Learner Vacco (No idea what this one means)
*Failure to display L plates
*Driving a defected vehicle
*$1300 fine for being out during covid19

Think that’s bad? He also crashed the car into a light/electricity post on a main street in the centre of town because he lost control of the car while speeding. I’m shocked speeding wasn’t included, they only put dangerous driving.
He could have killed himself, his 2 mates in the car or an innocent driver or pedestrian on the road but had no concept of that. *covidiot* Now let’s face it… 90% of everyone had 1 charge as a teenager. It could of been something as ridiculous as stealing a lolly, riding without a helmet, missing a giveway sign or even j-walking. You get my drift? We all had something petty as a kid on our files. Maybe even just a caution. But this boy goes the whole hog with his first charge ever being 9 crimes in total and none of them petty either 🙁 Why? He was bored being on house arrest during covid19. I can’t wait to be in the audience of his court date when he tells the judge he was bored -_-  Oughtta go down well right?

My 15 year old daughter caught the next case of Covidiot a few nights later. She came running into the lounge room all nervous and pacing. “Mum, I have something to tell you but I don’t want you to get mad. You have to promise me you won’t get mad.” Of course I didn’t promise shit with that tone in her voice. My 15 year old is a straight A student, she’s a virgin, never smoked, never touched drugs or alcohol, doesn’t get into trouble or anything either. She is legit the definition of good teenager in that respect. Her flaws are laziness, raging hormones, slamming doors, and stealing my chocolates behind my back lol.. she goes on to tell me that she had pierced her own ears by her self.
In her defence, she wanted me to be grateful that it wasn’t her nose because she had been begging me for a nose piercing for like a year and she really wanted to do it her self. Of course her ears got infected and it was a lesson learned…. I hope!

My 12 year old son then came down with the Covidiot19 too!!! I bought him a brand new bed. I got it in a king size single and realised upon getting the bed delivered that his current mattress was only a single one. DOH! So when I put the single mattress on his king single, he had slats poking out up one side and down the bottom. He was insistant on using his bed and promised to be careful. Hmmm It wasn’t dangerous for him but it was really dangerous for the bed if he misjudged the mattress because his doona covered the entire bed and you couldn’t see where the open gaps were. So of course the next day he decided to be a typical boy and superman into his bed… you guessed it… the bed broke! It was brand new and we only had 2 days to wait before his new king single mattress arrived. UGH! *Covidiot*

The last case of covidiot went to both my mother and my sister. They had to go to the chemist last week to pick up their junkie fixes (They’re on meds for diabetes, high bp etc) My mums on like 20 diff meds for all her conditions so I pick on her and call her a junkie out of humour. I asked them to pick me up a BLACK hair dye while at the chemist. I should not of emphasised the reason I wanted the hair dye was to cover up some grey hairs coming through.
They came home with the hair dye and I got my mum to put it in my hair. Once she was done, I had a look in the camera of my phone and near screamed the house down. My hair was blue. I got so salty like a 2 year old over it.
I grabbed the hair dye packet and seen it said BLUE on it. OmG!
I couldn’t fathom why my mum didn’t stop when she noticed it was blue. I went and washed it out and calmed down after a bit and then asked my mum and sister how the hell they didn’t didn’t notice. Well in their defence, the box emphasised “COVERS GREY HAIR’S” the picture was also of a lady with black coloured hair so they didn’t notice the part where it said “Blue” My mum also didn’t stop when she seen my hair turning blue because some dyes are a different colour to the colour it’s suppose to turn out so she didn’t question it. AWESOME! I’m turning 40 in 2 weeks and I have BLUE HAIR!!! 🙁 *Covidiots*

How has your family coped with cases of covidiot seeing as it’s spreading a lot faster than covid19? Have you got any alarming children’s boredom tales with the disease? Maybe your spouse, a friend or family member have had cases of it? Feel free to share them.

For today’s ending, i’m going to sign off with a transcript from a video circling the internet about covid19 restrictions. I add this into covidiots because I think the government has a case of this vile disease too. They have no clue where they’d doing at the moment. Here’s hoping restriction easing’s aren’t as confusing as the initial lock down laws.

“You may not leave the house for any reason unless you have a reason and then you may leave the house. All stores are closed except those that
are open and all stores must close unless they need to be open. The virus is deadly, but don’t be afraid of it, it can only kill people who
are vulnerable and also those who are not vulnerable. Stay locked down until the virus stops infecting people and it will only stop infecting
people if it effects enough people that we build an immunity. It is very important that we get infected and also do not get infected.
You should not go to the drs office or the hospital unless you have to go there, unless you’re too sick to go there. This virus has no effect
on children except those children of which it effects. The virus only remains active on surfaces for 2 hours or 4 hours, or 6 hours but in most
cases it’s days and not hours and it needs a damp environment or a cold environment that is warm and dry in the air unless the air is plastic.
Schools are closed. You need to home school your children unless you can send them to school because you are not home. If you’re at home there
will be variable online portals and classrooms, unless you have poor internet, more than one child, only have 1 computer or are working from
home. Baking cakes can be considered science, math or art. If you are home educating, you can include house hold chores within their education
curriculum and if you are home educating you may start drinking at approx 10am every day. If you are not home educating children you may also
start drinking at approx 10am. Masks are absolutely useless at protecting you against the virus, but you still need to wear one because it can
save lives and in some cases it may even be mandatory but also, maybe not. You must not go to work but you can get another job at which you
go to work. Stay home. I don’t know how many more celebrities we need to tell you how important it is to go out side and take care of your
mental health? There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarkets, there are simply many things missing. You don’t need to go buy a bunch of
toilet paper but you should go buy some in case you need it. If you are sick, you may go out once you get better, but those in your household
can not go out once you are better unless of course, they need to go out. Animals are not effected by the virus except that cat that tested
positive in Belgium in February and a couple of tigers. The number of carona related deaths will be announced daily but we don’t know how
many people are infected because we are only testing those who are almost dead to determine that’s what they will die of. The people who die
of Carona who are not counted won’t or will be counted but maybe not. TO be protecting your self during this time, you should be eating well
and exercising but exercising and eating what you have at home to avoid going to the stores unless you need toilet paper or a fence pail.
It’s important to get fresh air but don’t go to parks, but do go walk in other places. Don’t sit down unless you are old or pregnant, but if
you do sit down, don’t sit for long unless you’re old or pregnant and in which case you need to sit down. DO sit down, but don’t eat unless
you’ve had a long walk, which you’re allowed to do if you’re old or pregnant, except for time in which you aren’t. Don’t visit old people BUT
you have a moral obligation to take care of old people and bring them food or medicine. And finally, no business’s will go down with the carona
virus, except those business’s that go down due to covid19. I hope this cleared up any questions about what we should and should not be doing
during this time. Please educate you friends and family with this information so we can remove all and any confusion surrounding this time..
Thank-you!”

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