Author Archives: tanibops

So who’s enjoying the easing of quarantine in Australia so far? I was never really effected by it to begin with so there’s never been any changes for me. I stopped going to pubs and clubs when I was 30. I also stopped having local mates because I was sick of all the dramas that females caused. A bunch of mums are way worse than dealing with high school girls, that’s for sure. So the basics remained for me with corner stores and grocery stores remaining open.
Thankfully no one in my house caught Covid19… How ever, i’m 110% certain that my kids all caught a case of Covidiot. I’m sure all parents out there will be able to relate to this because although we, our selves might not of been effected hard core by quarantine, our kids were Their social life and friends is all that matters in life above everything right? So obviously all the kids in 2020 quarantine got extremely bored and may or may not of done some extreme shit to cure their boredom.

Started with my 18 year old step son. This kid is a really good kid in general. He keeps to himself, stays out of trouble, and a really nice guy in general. He has some dickhead mates that think they’re cool though, which is a problem.
On the 17th of April 2020 he caught a severe case of Covidiot19. He went out to visit his “nanna” I quote that because that’s where he said he was going. What he actually came home with was a severe charge sheet:

*Dangerous operation of a vehicle
*Drink driving
*Driving unlicensed (he’s only on his learners with 0 points and didn’t have an open or p plate driver for that matter)
*Learner Vacco (No idea what this one means)
*Failure to display L plates
*Driving a defected vehicle
*$1300 fine for being out during covid19

Think that’s bad? He also crashed the car into a light/electricity post on a main street in the centre of town because he lost control of the car while speeding. I’m shocked speeding wasn’t included, they only put dangerous driving.
He could have killed himself, his 2 mates in the car or an innocent driver or pedestrian on the road but had no concept of that. *covidiot* Now let’s face it… 90% of everyone had 1 charge as a teenager. It could of been something as ridiculous as stealing a lolly, riding without a helmet, missing a giveway sign or even j-walking. You get my drift? We all had something petty as a kid on our files. Maybe even just a caution. But this boy goes the whole hog with his first charge ever being 9 crimes in total and none of them petty either 🙁 Why? He was bored being on house arrest during covid19. I can’t wait to be in the audience of his court date when he tells the judge he was bored -_-  Oughtta go down well right?

My 15 year old daughter caught the next case of Covidiot a few nights later. She came running into the lounge room all nervous and pacing. “Mum, I have something to tell you but I don’t want you to get mad. You have to promise me you won’t get mad.” Of course I didn’t promise shit with that tone in her voice. My 15 year old is a straight A student, she’s a virgin, never smoked, never touched drugs or alcohol, doesn’t get into trouble or anything either. She is legit the definition of good teenager in that respect. Her flaws are laziness, raging hormones, slamming doors, and stealing my chocolates behind my back lol.. she goes on to tell me that she had pierced her own ears by her self.
In her defence, she wanted me to be grateful that it wasn’t her nose because she had been begging me for a nose piercing for like a year and she really wanted to do it her self. Of course her ears got infected and it was a lesson learned…. I hope!

My 12 year old son then came down with the Covidiot19 too!!! I bought him a brand new bed. I got it in a king size single and realised upon getting the bed delivered that his current mattress was only a single one. DOH! So when I put the single mattress on his king single, he had slats poking out up one side and down the bottom. He was insistant on using his bed and promised to be careful. Hmmm It wasn’t dangerous for him but it was really dangerous for the bed if he misjudged the mattress because his doona covered the entire bed and you couldn’t see where the open gaps were. So of course the next day he decided to be a typical boy and superman into his bed… you guessed it… the bed broke! It was brand new and we only had 2 days to wait before his new king single mattress arrived. UGH! *Covidiot*

The last case of covidiot went to both my mother and my sister. They had to go to the chemist last week to pick up their junkie fixes (They’re on meds for diabetes, high bp etc) My mums on like 20 diff meds for all her conditions so I pick on her and call her a junkie out of humour. I asked them to pick me up a BLACK hair dye while at the chemist. I should not of emphasised the reason I wanted the hair dye was to cover up some grey hairs coming through.
They came home with the hair dye and I got my mum to put it in my hair. Once she was done, I had a look in the camera of my phone and near screamed the house down. My hair was blue. I got so salty like a 2 year old over it.
I grabbed the hair dye packet and seen it said BLUE on it. OmG!
I couldn’t fathom why my mum didn’t stop when she noticed it was blue. I went and washed it out and calmed down after a bit and then asked my mum and sister how the hell they didn’t didn’t notice. Well in their defence, the box emphasised “COVERS GREY HAIR’S” the picture was also of a lady with black coloured hair so they didn’t notice the part where it said “Blue” My mum also didn’t stop when she seen my hair turning blue because some dyes are a different colour to the colour it’s suppose to turn out so she didn’t question it. AWESOME! I’m turning 40 in 2 weeks and I have BLUE HAIR!!! 🙁 *Covidiots*

How has your family coped with cases of covidiot seeing as it’s spreading a lot faster than covid19? Have you got any alarming children’s boredom tales with the disease? Maybe your spouse, a friend or family member have had cases of it? Feel free to share them.

For today’s ending, i’m going to sign off with a transcript from a video circling the internet about covid19 restrictions. I add this into covidiots because I think the government has a case of this vile disease too. They have no clue where they’d doing at the moment. Here’s hoping restriction easing’s aren’t as confusing as the initial lock down laws.

“You may not leave the house for any reason unless you have a reason and then you may leave the house. All stores are closed except those that
are open and all stores must close unless they need to be open. The virus is deadly, but don’t be afraid of it, it can only kill people who
are vulnerable and also those who are not vulnerable. Stay locked down until the virus stops infecting people and it will only stop infecting
people if it effects enough people that we build an immunity. It is very important that we get infected and also do not get infected.
You should not go to the drs office or the hospital unless you have to go there, unless you’re too sick to go there. This virus has no effect
on children except those children of which it effects. The virus only remains active on surfaces for 2 hours or 4 hours, or 6 hours but in most
cases it’s days and not hours and it needs a damp environment or a cold environment that is warm and dry in the air unless the air is plastic.
Schools are closed. You need to home school your children unless you can send them to school because you are not home. If you’re at home there
will be variable online portals and classrooms, unless you have poor internet, more than one child, only have 1 computer or are working from
home. Baking cakes can be considered science, math or art. If you are home educating, you can include house hold chores within their education
curriculum and if you are home educating you may start drinking at approx 10am every day. If you are not home educating children you may also
start drinking at approx 10am. Masks are absolutely useless at protecting you against the virus, but you still need to wear one because it can
save lives and in some cases it may even be mandatory but also, maybe not. You must not go to work but you can get another job at which you
go to work. Stay home. I don’t know how many more celebrities we need to tell you how important it is to go out side and take care of your
mental health? There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarkets, there are simply many things missing. You don’t need to go buy a bunch of
toilet paper but you should go buy some in case you need it. If you are sick, you may go out once you get better, but those in your household
can not go out once you are better unless of course, they need to go out. Animals are not effected by the virus except that cat that tested
positive in Belgium in February and a couple of tigers. The number of carona related deaths will be announced daily but we don’t know how
many people are infected because we are only testing those who are almost dead to determine that’s what they will die of. The people who die
of Carona who are not counted won’t or will be counted but maybe not. TO be protecting your self during this time, you should be eating well
and exercising but exercising and eating what you have at home to avoid going to the stores unless you need toilet paper or a fence pail.
It’s important to get fresh air but don’t go to parks, but do go walk in other places. Don’t sit down unless you are old or pregnant, but if
you do sit down, don’t sit for long unless you’re old or pregnant and in which case you need to sit down. DO sit down, but don’t eat unless
you’ve had a long walk, which you’re allowed to do if you’re old or pregnant, except for time in which you aren’t. Don’t visit old people BUT
you have a moral obligation to take care of old people and bring them food or medicine. And finally, no business’s will go down with the carona
virus, except those business’s that go down due to covid19. I hope this cleared up any questions about what we should and should not be doing
during this time. Please educate you friends and family with this information so we can remove all and any confusion surrounding this time..

I should of done this sooner and kept a good progress of it but never thought of it until today LOL! Bit slow?

This blog isn’t going to be about my opinions or thoughts. I will do a separate blog on that. This one will be facts and Government expressions for those who haven’t kept track of it with dates and world.

Covid-19 started in Wuhan, Hubei (China) with it’s first case being a 55 year old male. How ever, the disease wasn’t known then to be problematic. They started getting new cases of this mystery virus come in every day there after until there were 60 confirmed cases of it by the 20th of December.

Before the 60 confirmed cases come about, a Wuhan Dr tried to warn his colleagues of the mystery virus on December the 8th. His colleagues leaked the information the dr provided and China tried to arrest the Dr for causing a panic and leaking the information under treason. The China Government are very strict on what they want their country to release.
Unfortunately that dr who tried to warn others, contracted Covid-19 himself and passed away.

Authorities in China did not publicly release any information till the 21st of January 2020.

China went into a full lock down of their country, starting with Wuhan, Hubei on the 2nd of February.
On the 9th of April, China re opened businesses and restrictions from their citizens slowly despite still getting a few confirmed cases of the virus still coming in.

As of the 11th of Aril 2020 China has recorded that they had 81, 953 confirmed cases and 3,339 deaths. How ever if you look at the below on Italy and America, it may indicate that China has hidden a lot from the world and are continuing to do so.

Carona Virus next hit America with their first confirmed case from a 35 year old Male in Washington on the 19th of Janary 2020. New York got hit the hardest of all with the virus and much of the Big Apple falling with thousands of deaths 🙁

America went into lock down on the 13th of March 2020. America is still on lock down to this day. As of April 11th 2020 the U.S have recorded 502,876 confirmed cases, 19,747 deaths and 27,314 recovered .

Australia was next in line after America with a confirmed case on the 25th of January. The case was in Victoria with an undisclosed Male that had returned from Wuhan.
Australia went into lock down on 23rd of March 2020. New south Wales got hit the hardest with Carona.

As of the 11th of April 2020, Australia has recorded 6,222, 56 deaths and 1.793 recovered.

Italy was then hit on the 31st of January when 2 Chinese tourists were confirmed in Rome. Italy took to locking down their country on the 9th of March.

As of the 11th of April 2020 Italy have recorded 147,577 confirmed cases, 18,849 deaths and 30,455 recovered.

I can’t speak on behalf of other countries. I’m from Australia. I am fully aware that many many countries have been contaminated with Covid-19 but the news mostly only talk about China, Italy and America. I think this is because China started it and the other 2 countries got hit the very hardest.

I will update this with any further news that comes in.

In 2007 I fell pregnant to Martin. It was a very complicated pregnancy. I had hyperemesis gravidarum, Raynaud’s disease in my breast and our unborn son had cysts on his brain. It was stressful to say the least and in the midst of it all the twins started prep that year and due to their mum never having good or money, we had to supply them with stuff a lot more.

Our son was born in October 2007. We named him charles. It was of no surprise that the twins didn’t like their new little step brother. “Mum said he’s not our family cause you’re not married to dad” “mum said we don’t have to call him our brother cause you and dad aren’t married” “mum said you and Rose and Charles aren’t our family because you’s aren’t married” blah blah blah it was never ending. The tantrums and spite got worse. I would find my self often wanting nothing to with them. They would cry to their dad “mum said you don’t spend time with us anymore” “mum said you have to take us out by our selves with out the other kids” “mum said you don’t shouldn’t worry about Tanaya or the kids when we are visiting you we are your priority” “mum said we’re poor because you don’t pay child support” it was insane. Martin and I had the twins 4-5 days a week of our own backs and paid their groceries and their mothers cigarettes. The twins were always so tired, withdrawn, angry, hungry, sucking their thumbs worse than ever before and getting worse in general. Lawrence even asked me what a juice bottle with a hose in it was if it had smoke coming out of it. We suspected then that drugs were in play.

We were tired of them never having money and wanted to know why. So we started investigating. Well actually, in legal eyes- it’s called stalking. We would do random drive bys their family home. Every night or 2 was a raging party with lights flashing, music blarring, people yelling and carrying on. It was crazy! Lee and her boyfriend were partying way to hard with kids in their care.

We quizzed the twins about it and near lost our selves in a pile of anger when they told us everything. They said their mum and her boyfriend would always have parties, they often had to sleep in the lounge or share rooms because strange people would kick them out of their beds, loud music kept them awake all the time and gave them bad headaches, they would feel tired and irritated at school, their mum never woke up of a morning to get them ready or pack lunches for them, they had to walk to school and back by them selves, they always had people living with them to help with bills and rent etc…we found out that it had been going on ever since Lee met her new partner in 2006. It was a no brainer that he was the drastic change in Lee and the kids. It went on for years with us being powerless to do anything unless we went to court.

now go to chapter 5 of gone girl 🙂

Throughout the course of 2006, nothing changed with the twins behaviour towards me. Lawrence was never as bad as Amara was with name calling, using violence on me or screaming at me but he was still quite difficult to deal with. I was all on my own in feeling like a piece of trash in the picture. They were allowed to say what ever they wanted to me, treat me how ever they wanted to, break everything of mine and my daughters and it was acceptable. Martin’s opinion was that I was the adult and needed to ignore it all and the twins were children that needed to be left alone. He didn’t want to know how any of it made me feel. It made me resent him and his kids for being allowed to mistreat me. In Martin’s eyes they were only 3 years old and I was the one that needed to grow up.

In mid 2006, things went haywire. Lee found a partner earlier that year and she changed drastically compared to previous. All of a sudden the kids would always be hungrier than usual, they stopped getting new clothes as much as they had been, Lee would ask us for money, food and cigarettes and the kids all seemed different in general with sleeping habits, mood changes and so forth. They wouldn’t talk about it “mum said we’re not allowed to talk about what happens at home”

It wasn’t till one afternoon in June that things started to take a turn for the worse. The twins were already at our house and we weren’t expecting Ruth that weekend. I was inside folding clothes while Martin was playing water balls games out the back with Rose, Lawrence and Amara. I heard a loud car pull up out front and a mans voice saying goodbye to who ever they had dropped off. I looked out the window and seen Ruth running up to my front door.  She was happy and bearing a little box in her hand. I let her inside and she went running through the house to find all the kids. I told her they were out the back yard playing. Ruth went into Rose’s room to play by her self. I told her she could go out side and play with them all if she wanted to but she was happy to be on her own. I asked her why she was at my house and she said “I wish you were my mum” I had chills down my spine. What possessed her to say such a thing?  I stopped in my tracks and sat down on Rose’s bed with her to see if she wanted to talk. She didn’t. She wanted to show me her beautiful new necklace that her uncle had bought for her. As far as I knew, she only had one uncle from her mums side. Her dads side wasn’t in the picture. Ruth stated it was her uncle Al. I didn’t know of any uncle Al which was odd. Ruth went on to say that her uncle gave her the gift to keep a secret. Roughly 5 mins into our conversation, I noticed love bites on the left side of her neck too. She was just 6 years old ? By now you can guess where this is heading right? I don’t really need to get into a graphic detail of the situation but I ran to get Martin and he advised that I should call Lee about it. I wish back then that I have of gone with my gut instincts to call the police instead of Lee because those kids May of all had a very different out come in life if I’d have done the right thing.

Lee seemed just as panicked as I was when I called her. She quickly got a friend to bring her straight over to my house and pick Ruth up. Lee seemed genuine that she would take Ruth to the police station and report it all straight away. I didn’t question it or have any reason not to believe her at the time either. Lee legit seemed genuine and panicked as much as I was.

A few days later Martin’s little brother came to  our house in a panick. He said that his father had been accused of having explicit photos of Ruth on his computer and was no longer allowed to see the twins. Martin and I had no idea that Lee even allowed Ruth and the twins to see Martin’s father. We had nothing to do with the man and I hadn’t even met him through out the course of my relationship with Martin because Martin had nothing to do with him nor had for years since his father tried to kill him with an axe. The man had mental problems and we didn’t want our kids near him. Martin didn’t even know that Lee had remaind in touch with his dad. How ever, Martin’s dad was not a predator nor had sexual tendencies. He was a narcissistic prick that beat his wife and kids. So we were rather confused to say the least. How did Ruth go from getting love bites from an uncle that dropped her off to us to having nude photos of her self on Martin’s dad’s computer if she never went to stay with him? It soon came out that Lee often let Ruth and the twins stay with Martin’s dad when ever she had them in her care. Police were involved but found no evidence which wasn’t a shock.

When I quizzed Lee as to what was going on, she stated that Ruth came out with it all by her self and she was devastated about it and suspected that Martin’s dad or her own brother gave Ruth the love bites on her neck. It didn’t make sense. Ruth had told me it was her apparent uncle Al.

When it was our time to pick up the twins form their mum, Ruth didn’t come running down the stairs to say hello or try to come with us. It was strange. She had always done it. I asked the twins where Ruth was. They said she was not allowed to see me or Martin anymore because she talks too much about their home life and it’s not allowed. We didn’t ask any more questions or pry for fear of upsetting the kids. But we were quite perplexed and confused when they also told us that they got to stay with Martin’s dad the night before. They said Ruth wasn’t allowed to but they were still allowed to see their poppy cause he didn’t have any photos of them.

What kind of a mother let’s any of their kids stay with a man they suspect is a child sex abuser? It didn’t add up.

I waited till the Monday morning after the weekend and waiting for Ruth at the front gate of her school. She had always walked to school alone. She was so happy to see me. We had a bit of a chat and I quizzed her about the situation with Martin’s dad. She said she was really confused about the whole situation. She said she got into big trouble for telling me about her uncle Al giving her a present and marks on her neck because the man uncle Al was Lee’s new boyfriends brother. Ruth also said that she had no memory of Martin’s dad ever taking any photos of her. She said her mum told her to say that so she had a reason to stop Ruth from seeing me cause she told me too much stuff. None of it made any sense to me. We didn’t get to see Ruth from that day forward either until she was 9 years old. We got to take her to the park with all the kids and didn’t get to see her again after that till she was 11 years old.

continue to chapter 4 now 🙂

Meeting the twins for the first time was interesting. Lawrence was quite shy and quite in general. Amara on the other hand was rude, disrespectful, mean and refused to have anything to do with me. I was understanding. She’d had her father all to her self for 3 years and then I come along with a child of my own wanting to play happy families. It would have been difficult for both the twins. They were only 3 years old.

Ruth,(who was 5 at the time) on the other hand was a vibrant ray of sunshine. She always wore a smile from ear to ear, she loved cuddles, dancing to music with me, laughing at new McDonald’s farm with me, reading bed time stories with me, and telling jokes. Every time she came to see me she would have a new joke from school. She was always so happy, excited and such a loving little girl. She was always following my daughter, Rose and I around like a lost puppy.

In the first 6 months of dating Martin I found it extremely difficult to connect to the twins on any level. A lot of it was because Martin didn’t wish to be an authority figure to them when it came to right from wrong. He was happy to punish them for things that effected him. Such as, waking up too early, getting out of bed before him, not going to sleep when he wanted them to, or for having sibling rivalry in the car when he was trying to concentrate on driving. But everything else was a no zone.

The twins would call me names, jump on my couches, steal money out of my car, they destroyed all my deceased nans property she gave me, they would wake my daughter up, break my daughters toys and treat me like garbage. The twins always said their mum told them to do it and told them to it was the only way to get me out of the picture if they wanted their dad to them selves. Martin would never tell the twins that their behaviour was unacceptable or teach them to have respect for me. He wanted to be a cool dad I guess?

We often argued over the kids and had very different opinions on parenting.

I noticed in the first 6 months that Lee would never call her children or message us to ask about the kids when they were in our care. It was a drop off and pick up situation with neither Martin or Lee having any communication for themselves or the kids in between. None of the kids ever asked to go home, to see their mum or call her either. It was so strange. My daughter was by then 18 months old and hated being away from me. Rose loved going to see my mum but not for long periods of time and always had to call me to say what she was doing. She’s now turning 15 and nothing has changed with that lol The twins would scream and cry when we had to take them home. They would do a starfish position so they didn’t have to get in the car and cry the whole way to their mums. They never wanted to go home and were always excited to see their dad. Ruth wasn’t like that she loved home time because she always got to go stay with her grandmother during weekdays and loved being with her grandma. I always found it very odd that Ruth didn’t live with her mother full time. She was with her grandmother and Aunty most of the time. I never pried into any of the situation though. I just tried to be a friend to the 3 kids and be apart of their lives.


Go to chapter 3 of gone girl now

It all it all stated in 2005 when I met Martin. I had just come out of a 6 year relationship with my ex Brian. I had a 1 year old daughter with Brian. Martin had been single for 3 years prior to meeting me. He had 3 year old twins, Lawrence and Amara with his ex, Lee. Lee also had a daughter called Ruth when she met Martin. Martin and Lee shared the 3 kids together. Martin would have the twins 3-4 days a week and some times had when had the twins Ruth too. I have heard stories from every party in regards to Martin and Lee’s relationship from the 11 months that they were together and it’s quite chilling. Every one but Lee has the same story. Lee claims Martin chested and used violence. She also claims that she never moved on until after she left him. However, Martin, Martin’s family, and Lee’s family all state that Lee left Martin 1 week before the twins were born to be with another man. While that information doesn’t seem relevant right now, it will become evident as to why I included it.

Child safety were involved with Lee and the twins during the first year of their life too. The twins were hospitalised twice for malnutrition and being underweight. Lee has always maintained that Lawrence was lactose intolerant while Amara had twin sympathy for him. The twins both drank normal milk and had no problems at all with dairy products. This information is relevant to part of the story in 2018 when I was handed paper work starting authorities involvement and why. Lee has never told her the kids the truth and the kids believe their mother’s version of what happened to them.

A custody court case was also involved but Martin backed down from proceeding after Lee threatened to take the kids “underground” a private arrangement was made when the twins were 1 for Martin to have them 4-5 days a week which was far greater than what a judge may have given him as back in those days father’s were not considered full time as much as Mother’s were. It was a good deal and it was stuck to.

And while it seems I am making it sound like Lee is a horrible mother, a liar etc… I haven’t mentioned that she was only 17 when she had Ruth and just 19 when the twins were born. She was really young and while some teenagers grow up and change after having kids, some don’t. And in all honesty, when I met Martin, I never really considered the age factor that Lee had children. I couldn’t see passed the “mum” factor.

go to chapter 2 of gone girl now 🙂

There is 3 sides to every story. Your side, their side and the truth. With this particular story, there is many side to it. Their would be the stories of the parents, kids, authorities and many more.

The main young lady to my story is currently writing her own version to all of this as well. I will be posting it once she is done.

But this version of the story is MINE. My version, my ears and eyes, my perspective and opinions and what happened to me through out the process. Please bare in mind that while I feel I’m surrounded by toxic behaviour and people, I do not know what is going on in any of their heads and I am not a shrink to confirm   any of my thoughts, feelings or opinions. I don’t know any of their trauma that makes them the way that they are.

I have named this story “Gone girl” Partially because of the movie and partially because I don’t know if this girl is actually gone for good or there is hope in sight?

The only thing that I’m 100% certain of Is that I have never met another family like this in my life span, nor probably ever will.

Please go to chapter 1 of gone girl for the beginning of this story.

For legal reasons, I can’t state real identities of anyone involved.

I’m not a patient person in general. I hate line ups at the shops that go out side the store doors and you’re the last one in line and the line is going really slow. I hate making appointments and not getting seen to for an hour and a half to 2 hours later. I hate going to go crowded places where you pay a lot of money to go see something but end up seeing a bunch of loud mouths and heads in front of you because you’re only 5 foot tall. It all gives me anal diseases. lol I have the patience withstand from 5 to 20 mins and that’s it – I’m out.
Same if someone makes plans with me and runs late by up to 20 mins. I won’t wait around any longer. That is my patience threshold = very small.
It’s even worse with automative phone services. Holy shit!! Like Centrelink for example. Not long ago I had to call them my mum because she isn’t good with technology. I was legit put on hold for almost 2 hours. That wasn’t the worst part though. I mean, I was able to go about my day doing house chores and looking after the kids while on hold by putting the phone on speaker and leaving it in the lounge room up full ball. The worse part was finally getting through and copping an automative service that wanted to ask questions about my inquiry. None of the prompts matched with what I needed so I kept asking for an operator. Much to my horror when the automative service said “thank you for you call – good bye” OMG! They hung up on me and I had to go through that exact same process for 2 days straight.I tried every prompt to speak to an operator but nope, the automative service kept hanging up on me and telling me to use self service. Bitch I know how to use self service. I don’t need no man. Stop rubbing it in my dam face!
I ended up looking up a different payment line to call Centrelink on and got put through to where I needed to be. 2 FUCKING DAYS that took. I’ve never swore so much in my life as I did to my phone during those frustrating 48 hours of my life. My poor innocent phone could probably have had me charged with domestic violence, assault, grevieous bodily harm, intimidation, death threats, and all. I mean I even tried to bargain with my phone using extortion!!!! It really wouldn’t surprise me if the next time I went to use Siri, she told me to “F**k off you stupid gerbil breeding piece of sh** wh**e!”
Same thing happened today when I had to contact Optus for my step son. His bill was $92 behind and they cut his phone off so we paid the bill this morning and had to notify them to get it turned back on. I decided I wasn’t going to spend hours on a phone trying to speak to someone. Nope, i’ll just the Optus chat online. I was impressed to see it connected instantly and someone said “Hi, how can I help you today?” I stated my issued and then nothing…… it was radio silence. After 10 mins of watching and waiting, I see little bubbles starting to write something. Yay, they’re responding I thought. The bubbles kept coming and going. This went on for like 15 mins. FFS! I’m gonna go check my instagram for a second while they’re writing me a novel. So I do that and when I go back to the optus app after a few seconds to see if I had a reply… The chat had shut down and I had to re log in!!! F****G WHAT?
So I start the process all over again. I got a new person and had to explain my previous enquiry to the new person. She sends me a link to click and fill a form out with the biller details. I explained to the lady that getting off the optus page wasn’t a good idea as I tried in the last chat and got disconnected. She said it was fine. Ok then! So I clicked the link to fill the form out and when the page closed down, sure enough – I was disconnected from the lady I was chatting to at optus. I got rather annoyed having to re go through the process yet again! My vocabulary started to annoy my kids “Are the auto bots out to get you again?” My 14 year old daughter asked me in a smart ass tone. Indeed they were!!!
I had just connected for the 3rd time again and thought, stuff it, it’ll just happen again. I’ll call them but someone quickly wrote me a message and when I stated my problem for the 3rd time, he was replying instantly and got about it quickly! YAY!!!
I was in the last stage of the conversation. He had just submitted the request to have the block removed I had 3 mins left to go when my step son’s phone started ringing. It wasn’t a normal call… It was a messenger call. I quickly rejected the call freaking out that I would lose the Optus chat but thankfully I was super quick. But this prick friend of my step son’s wouldn’t let up on calling. He kept calling and calling each time I rejected him. So I picked my phone up. He’s on my messenger, I know the kid “Listen up asshole, I have his phone. Don’t call again. I’m having issues with an auto bot on his phone” He understood and knew I meant business. All my kids and their mates know I don’t have the patience for any of it.
30 seconds to go………… I made it!!! YAY!!!! If anything else had of happened, I’m not sure who would of copped my auto bot mouth. I find those stupid things so frustrating.
Technology has come a very long way, I can’t deny it but for people like me who grew up in the 80’s and 90s and haven’t got much experience nor want it – our vocabulary can go from A to Z in 2.5 seconds.
I swear I spend more time on my phone than I do actually having a life.
I have to make calls all the time for my kids, my step granddaughter, my step daughter, my step son and my mum. I always get stupid auto bots that put me through prompts then put me through to some where else, then you wait for the person to dam well answer, if they’re not there, you leave a message and wait for them to never call back OR they call you when you’re up town and busy so you let it go to voice mail and then proceed to play a game of cat and mouse to actually get a hold of each other.
School’s, authorities, dr’s, centrelink, medicare, hospitals, parents, family members, police, job networks, etc etc…..
Might be time to show them all how it feels? Time to set up my voice mail to say “Hi, you’ve reached my voice mail…
Press 1 if you would like to be hung up on
Press 2 if you would like to be put through to several other departments, only to leave a voice mail for them
Press 3 if you would like to leave a message and play a game of cat and mouse to see which one of you can get a hold of the other first OR
Press 4 to go back through these prompts again and keep trying

I follow several celebrities on social media. I have a selective few that I want to keep updated with if they have any new shows, movies or songs coming out.
This particular blog is of no disrespect to any of the celebrities that I have targeted. This is suppose to be a humorous post to lighten up some one’s day, or have them as curious as I am. Enjoy the following celeb fails 🙂

The following celebrity photo’s have highly entertained me but then again – small things amuse small minds.

Let’s take a look at this first one of Channing Tatum. He appears be doing a push up in the air using only his arms. You can clearly see that it’s probably real, considering all the veins and muscles in his arms are bulging with great strain. How ever, there appears to be some boots under the table that could very well be a photo shop stuff up. They’re obviously not the boots of Mr Tatum, given the fact he has boots on his feet.
Could there possibly be some one standing there helping Channing to look like the leaning tower of Pisa? Is this why he is only putting all of his body weight on to one arm? The wrist closest to the cup of water seems to be lifted with no weight on it. Could the photo shopper possibly have forgotten to remove the mystery shoes of the person holding Channing up? Or is this simply one of the greatest illusions of all time that we shall never receive an answer to?


Now let’s take a look at Justin Timberlake and Jessica Beil.. While there doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with this photo, I can’t help but look at Justin’s satisfied facial expression while his dear wife is preparing to star as Super Girl. If this is any indication of what their sex life looks like then I can’t wait to be in my 40’s!!

This next pic of Brittany Spears seems to be rather a curious one. I’m assuming she is probably just grabbing on to the back of her bike seat but, there is also a part of me that is questioning if she a battling a worm crisis? All the joys of being a celebrity. They can’t even get their own mail without someone accusing them of scratching their asses and pulling out a 10′ tape worm right?


This next one of Nikki Reed is highly questionable. Nikki captioned this particular photo letting her fans know that she loves her morning tea. But what we’re witnessing in this photo is that she INDEED loves her tea so much that she needs to have it in bowls… 6 of them to be exact. I’m not sure about you but I have never felt the urge to drink from a bowl, nor ever felt the need for 6 cups of tea, let alone BOWLS!
Let’s take a minute here to hope that Nikki shared with 5 others OR prey that the lord had mercy on her husband and daughter the day this way taken because there’s a strong possibility that Nikki may have been climbing the walls like Spider-man after enduring so much caffeine.

Don’t quote me on this please, but I am almost 99% certain that Patrick Wilson played Stretch? Here we have a clear vision in to Will Smith playing in the sequel with a sense of the real meaning of stretch? I realise the angle of the photo is responsible for Will’s rather long go go gadget arm here but it’s still rather amusing don’t you think?

Liza Snyder posted this cute little photo of her self with Matt Leblanc and their on screen daughter from Man with a plan.. How ever it appears that Matt and Liza have squeezed her so hard that only the remains of one arm and some of her jumper were left behind. This could have been a rather awkward photo to explain had us fans not been able to make out the middle of the body lol

We’ve all heard of the hills have eyes? What if Trees had eyes and got to inspect the fine art of Jenna Dewan’s perfect bod? And what on earth is that creepy tree behind her with all that wire and stuff hanging around like from a horror movie? Did Jenna stumble across some weird kind of ritual ground perhaps?

Last of all, we have a photo of Ryan Phillippe hanging out with friends or family over a feed and a few drinks. I am unsure about you, but I have never seen a door that doesn’t do entry and exit. Perhaps it’s an american thing?
Clearly that’s a door right? But it’s not an exit? I can’t help but wonder how many people have tried to exit it despite that sign? I have seen doors that say “push” or “pull” cause these particular doors only go one way for entry and exit but never in my life have I stumbled across a door that states NO EXIT!!! I wonder if this shop owns a door jar?
You know – $1 for everyone who’s tried to exit it lol



So last night, my mate and I went for a drive. As we come up to an orange traffic light, my friend didn’t slow down. Nope she went right through it. It gave me a thrill. “Wtf are you doing? It’s an orange light?” I told her sternly. “She be right, we’ll make it” She replied.
We did, but that wasn’t the point. All I could think of was how much trouble we would be in if it turned red and some one got us on camera to give to the police lol
It got my mate and I talking about all the things we use to do as teeangers for a thrill… You know, like speeding when you drive, getting into cars with guys who would speed in their hotted up v8 cars, running through cane fields or graveyards while you were drunk, get on a motorbike as a driver or passenger with no care factor that it’s a death vehicle, you would climb up trees and on to rooves with out a fear in the world or even run by foot from the cops despite doing nothing wrong….
You grow up, have kids and realise that all the things you once did now have consequences and you can’t comprehend the changes between now and then.
Like legit, as you get older and have kids, your adreneline rushes come from trying to read a book at night after you think your kids are asleep or trying to shit without an interuption.
Your thrills come from taking an orange traffic light, hiding your chocolate somewhere and preying your kids don’t find your stash lol You get a thrill out of being able to stay awake till midnight even. No joke, staying up till midnight is something a parent is brag worthy of it because it’s an actual challenge.
My friend and I got talking about all this stuff and decided to go chase some thrills because we are old farts and deserve some fun. It was only a quarter moon and the clouds kept hiding it. But that was ok, we had the car headlights right? So we found a massive cane field and pulled over. It didn’t seem too bad I guess. But then the bitch turned her head lights off and I found myself looking straight down the split path between the 2 cane fields and started to think about Jeepers Creepers. The urge to stay in the car and lock the doors seemed more appealing. “Ok, let’s get out” My friend says. “Sure” I say with full confidence while thinking she can go first and i’ll get out once she gets around to the passengers side of the car.
So she opens her door, gets out, makes it to the boot and then bolts back into the car like Speedy Gonzalez on crack!!! She pushed the central lock and drove off quickly looking like she had just seen a ghost. “What happened?” I asked her. “There was noises in the cane fields” She said. We got talking about all the possibilites of what could have been in the fields such as cane toads, frogs, snakes, bugs, spiders, rats and maybe even Stefan Salvatore could have been waiting to rip our fucking heads off!!!
We realised that neither of us were ever going to step into those cane fields but the thrill of the attempt was “Adreneline rushing” lol
Our next stop was a graveyard and it was the same kind of situation with the pitch black darkness over everything, no lights and an eerie feeling washing over us.
It didn’t feel as bad as the cane fields though. Like with the cane fields, there could have been all sorts of creatures attack us that we couldn’t be saved from but in my head, the worst thing that could happen at a graveyard was an actual human would jump us if they were attempting to dig a grave to rob the dead. My friend on the other hand was thinking of the stuff that I was at the cane fields. “What if Zombies exit the graves and eat our brains?””What if there’s a black witch performing a ressurection?” My friend asked in a freaked out tone.
I couldn’t help but laugh. How ever, my laughter quickly turned to running as we got to the gates of the cemetary. I ran because I got an instant adreneline rush after I invisioned the cemetary as a ghost compound. I instantly felt like scooby doo and went to hide behind Shaggy. We left and laughed the whole way home about our thrilling night.
So that’s what it’s like having to go from a teenager to an adult. And not to mention the days when you would have sex any where, any time any place without a care in the world but as an adult, you’re constantly looking over your shoulder preying that you don’t get caught.
What are some of your adult thrills? Have you ran an orange light? Watched a motorist do a wheelie and thought “wow he’s living on the edge?” have you done 100kms in an 80km zone and felt like you were bullet proof?

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